Anticipation

Hello guys, it's been a while. I'm having my jaw surgery in less than 12 hours time and I'm really nervous. I don't remember being so nervous when I was going for my knee or my wisdom teeth surgeries. I guess as people grow older, their fear of dying heightens pretty much. Although I know I won't die in the operating theatre tomorrow, I'm still scared of all the implications.

After all, you won't get to see this face above anymore. It's like a life changing moment for me. I've yearned to do this surgery since I was young because I was always laughed at for my underbite. Even my own grandma couldn't understand why I can't close my mouth. Of course after years of scolding and training and nagging by my very own grandmother, I managed to close my mouth but that wasn't my natural look at all.

It didn't occur to me that I could have done this surgery earlier. In fact I didn't even know about this surgery until I went for a braces consultation. It was about 3 years ago that I committed myself to this surgery tomorrow. Once I put on braces, it would make my underbite more prominent in preparation for the re-alignment surgery. So 3 years later, here I am, the night before the surgery wondering if I made the right decision. I guess I'm just overthinking. Of course I made the right decision.

In fact I just can't wait to get this over and done with. I've a pretty badass recovery rate so I think I'll be up and talking in less than 2 weeks. Normally it would take around 1 month for everything to go down, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the swelling will subside quickly. I don't really want to walk out of my house having a swollen face.

I've read quite a few other blogs about similar surgeries and I'm also quite scared that I can't feel my face after surgery. It happens all the time and the sensitivity takes quite a while to go back. I'll probably freak out when I can't feel my face. I don't think I'm able to sleep tonight but I've got to try. The worst thing is I can't eat anything after 12am tonight and I'm pretty much done with my last meal before surgery.

On a side note, I dropped my INO in a pail of water in the toilet and that's the worst thing that can happen to me before surgery cause I'll be really bored without a smartphone to play with while I'm warded. Goddamn.

Goodnight guys, I wish myself all the best for my surgery tomorrow.